Category: human

Porcelain Kids

porcelain-doll-restoration

“The More Risks you allow children to take, the better they learn to take care of themselves”- Ronald Dahl

I was a rainy Saturday afternoon and I was stretched out on the couch flipping through the channels when my son and his new buddy walked in the back door. After saying hello, my son asked his friend if he wanted a snack. He said yes and they went into the kitchen with me following.

I asked them if they wanted me to make them something and as they nodded their approval my sons fried asked if we had any “non-dairy” cheese and gluten free tortilla chips so we could make nachos. As the dumbfounding look waved over my face I responded that all our cheese is dairy and that I honestly didn’t even know what gluten was.

I then waved them off and told them that I would just make them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I was advised that he couldn’t eat peanut butter .

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were allergic” I responded.

“Oh I’m not allergic, but my mom told me that she read kids who eat nuts have a higher chance of having kids with nut allergies”.

WTF!!!!!!!!!

I had to look around and look for Rod Sterling because I thought that I was on the fucking twilight zone. After finally getting him a nut free, gluten free non-gmo snack I sat down and finally realized that we are done. Finished, Kaput whatever you want to call it but it all means the same thing. This country is doomed, it is doomed because the next generation will have no clue. No clue how life works, how life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine and there is bad in the world, a lot of parents shelter their kids so much that when the kid has a little more freedom they end up going buck wild. What these parents don’t realize is that they are setting up their kids for failure.

For the sake of not writing a book on the subject let’s take a look at a couple of what I think main examples on how kids are over coddled these days.

Sports:

sports

Yes all kids deserve a participation trophy…until around the age of seven, after that no not at all, you need to earn your trophy or award. This day and age of “everyone gets a trophy” is getting worse and worse, last year I actually witnessed at a end of the season youth football banquet an 11 year who barely played and when he did, lets just say his performance on the gridiron was a few steps below the farthest from good you can get be awarded the team MVP. When I asked the head coach of that particular team why “Billy” the stud of the team and someone who will definitely make the varsity squad in high school with one eye open and will be easily recruited by a D1 school (no “Billy” is not my kid and obviously that’s not his real name). The coaches response? “Well the league decided that the MVP should not be only based on ones performance on the field but also a persons character and told me who the MVP will be for the team, in fact the league told every team who their MVP will be”. Yes a youth football league board of directors told each teams head coach who their team MVP will be.

I thought to myself “should also be based on a persons character? This isn’t a movie, this is real life and I know this kid. oh boy and believe me he’s an asshole.

What made matters worse is that after this little asshole received the award I overheard him talking shit to other kids with comments like “thats right MVP bitch!” and “kiss my ass motherfuckers I’m the fucking MVP”. Now this wasn’t playful kids talking shit to each other, you can tell this kid was fucking serious.

What frightened me the most in this situation is that this kid really thinks he’s an MVP caliber football player. This may set the stage for the rest of his life in thinking that things are just going to be given to him and he won’t need to work for anything. I see it all the time with the “millennials” or whatever the fuck that generation is called. “This job sucks”, “I can’t believe that I didn’t get promoted” and the best is “THIS IS NOT FAIR”.

That is what they are not learning that life is not fair!

Food:

ice cream cone

Many people are obsessed with what they eat and divulge into an even deeper psychotic episode when it comes to what their kids consume. Now I  provided one example already at the beginning of this article and I have countless more however for the interest of time I will only provide one more.

Last summer my family and I took a quick few day vacation to Cooperstown NY, it was a great few days and besides getting to see where legends are enshrined, it gave me a chance to people watch. Like most other men I prefer to sit on a bench rather then go into a store that my wife wanted to go into. The horror I witnessed can only be matched by a Stephen King novel or a Kathy Griffin stand up routine.

It was a beautiful late summer upstate New York day and I was sitting outside sharing an ice cream cone with my toddler waiting for my wife and other kids to be done in the store that I previously stated that I didn’t want to go into when I saw a little boy maybe five years old tops asking his parents for an ice cream cone “please, we’re on vacation and you never let me eat ice cream” he said, then in a blink of an eye both of his parents flew into this food rage yelling and screaming on how bad it is for you and all the fat in it and it will make him obese and he will get diabetes, yada, yada, yada. Now this kid is young, on vacation and normal size, if not skinny. I truly felt bad for this kid, here he is on vacation and all he asked for is a fucking ice cream cone and his fucking yuppy parents probably punished him for a month over it.

The funny part? They caught me red handed staring at them and when then looked over, me looking dumbfound and my little one covered in what was once chocolate soft serve, I just blurted out “Well looks like I’ll be going for seconds”.

School:

elementary-school

This will be my final subject because I am fucking tired but I digress…

The way I see nowadays makes me fucking sick to my stomach, when I was in school and got bad grades it was on me, I needed to correct it, end of story! Now!! A kid  gets a bad grade and the parents meet with the teacher and if they don’t like what they hear they go to the principal and if they don’t like what they hear they go to the school board who after hearing “but i am a taxpayer” or “he learns in different ways” tell the principal to tell the teacher to change the grade to something that will, lets just say “make the parents happy and go away”.

Here we go again, another kid who wants everything handed to him and will grow up to be forty year old living in his parents basement still asking for money to go out on Friday night with his “boys”.

 

Fast forward thirty or so years and I envision that we will be living in a country watching football games that end 6-3 every week all while snacking on buffalo tofu.

 

BHD

02/10/18- Guest Submission from Faheem J. (New York, NY)

“MORE THAN A RANT”

by Faheem J. (New York, NY)

anger

 

“Anger is motivating and draining.”

 

 

SO SO ADDICTIVE

 

Anger is more than just about being mad something or someone. It is a drug that can become addictive if you let it. I would go on a rant, but I have nothing to rant about. Hell, I have nothing to be upset about. Yet, it can happen, and when it does, boy do I feel good. But after, it becomes mentally draining. You inevitably lose focus, and drain yourself of productivity.

 

WHY WE NEED WHEN WE DON’T

 

To some people, anger is a safety blanket. We feel secure when we’re angry because it is the easiest emotion to have in life. It takes work to be happy and remain happy. But to be mad, now that can be accomplished in a matter of seconds. Hard to be happy when so much of our society is in a dark place. And what’s crazy, sometimes we want society to be made with us. And when they’re not, we look at them as if they have the problem. When in reality, the happy ones have figured out something the angry ones haven’t.

 

WHEN THE RANT GOES WRONG

 

Like I said earlier, when we get angry, in the moment it’s good, but when it wears off, we feel worst than before the anger. And like I also said, you lose energy, effectiveness, and productivity. Try this once:

 

  1. Get as mad as you can possibly get; make up a scenario.
  2. Walk around ranting about the people in the scenario.
  3. Take it to the extreme by even incorporating something violent into the scenario.
  4. Then once you’ve hit your climactic point, observe some things.
    1. Time you ranted
    2. Heart rate
    3. Focus

 

Once you have done the first 3, then look over the anger. You’ll notice you’ve wasted time, you can’t work on anything after because you’re so heated, and have lost focus. So my rant is more than a rant. It aims at how the rant can rob you of productivity. Because inevitably, a rant forces you to lose progress. Then you sink to an even deeper place then before the rant. Now you have to rant at this new low, then rant at the next low. Eventually, you’re too low to rant because ranting takes energy; energy you have at this point depleted from low level to new low level.

 

Faheem J. (New York, NY)

02/09/18 Submission from floatinggold…

We owe it to ourselves and others to learn and to teach.

 

 

Today’s society is becoming increasingly rude and uncultured. While I understand that kids can’t always sit still in church, or that they can cry out loud on queue at the store, I do not understand the adults.

In a recent article I read, a guy could not get people to quiet down at a coffee shop, so he used what they were talking about against them. They were discussing potential business details and its name. The author of the article flat out bought the domain with the name of the business the people came up with. Some might think that was spiteful, but after what I see around me more often than not, I think it was genius.

On another occasion, an obnoxious woman left her dog’s poop on an airport’s terminal floor without trying to clean it up in any way. The author of the article says that there was a special pet zone for that kind of business nearby, but I understand that she wasn’t aware or that the dog just had to go. However, she could have made more of an effort to find someone to clean in instead of proceeding with her life like nothing ever happened.

Of course such insane behavior stems from childhood and the lack of any sense of direction from the parents. I see a woman with a 7-year-old on a bus and they are both sitting in the “elderly/disabled” seats. All the seats are taken. An old lady gets on and she is clearly having issues with coordinating the whole “standing/holding on for dear life situation”. I know that the mother or the child might not be feeling well, or have a disability of their own, but they are laughing and chatting away while intermittently playing on their phones. They see the old lady. They do nothing!!! The child doesn’t get up, the mother doesn’t tell her to. I have to be the bad guy, so I politely ask them if maybe they are both disabled. The kid looks at me as if I’m from Mars. The mother rolls her eyes and tells her kid to just sit in her lap. They go back to playing on their phones. The old lady thanks me and sits down. What an accomplishment! Before there were 2 people sitting, now it’s 3!!!

A 5-year-old keeps running up and down the aisle in church while her mother does nothing. The kid is not so little anymore. She should have SOME sense of what church is and how to behave in it. When the child runs past me for the nth time I whisper to her asking to go back to her pew. The mother sees it and comes to reprimand ME. Ok, I understand that – she is being a protective lioness over her cubs and she will take care of the situation herself, because after all she has realized that should try to parent her child sometimes. Oh, that is NOT what happened. She ran to her other daughters and told them all about it. You can only assume what she said to them after them all turning around and looking at me as if they were going to kill me.  That is even more dangerous than the lack of parenting. It just instills the “snowflake” idea in them even more.

Once on a bus, a woman in her 20s puts her nearly-finished-drink on the floor and then… changes seats, leaving the cup behind. Everyone can forget, right? So I remind her. Firstly, she gets mouthy with me and then proceeds to more physical acts of contempt like trying to spill the remains on me (scattering different parts of the plastic cup around the buss) and trying to pick a fist fight. No one around cares. If no one cares, why bother. It must be I who was in the wrong. I must be nitpicking. One person cannot change the world, which is going downhill fast…

For the love of all that is holy, please do NOT be that person who listens to their music on speaker in a crowded place. It’s called being respectful. Or, please do not talk about BS on speakerphone for an hour either when random people surround you.

If we were more RESPECTFUL of one another the world would be prettier, we wouldn’t be as stressed and we would all be more peaceful.

 

-floatinggold