Porcelain Kids

porcelain-doll-restoration

“The More Risks you allow children to take, the better they learn to take care of themselves”- Ronald Dahl

I was a rainy Saturday afternoon and I was stretched out on the couch flipping through the channels when my son and his new buddy walked in the back door. After saying hello, my son asked his friend if he wanted a snack. He said yes and they went into the kitchen with me following.

I asked them if they wanted me to make them something and as they nodded their approval my sons fried asked if we had any “non-dairy” cheese and gluten free tortilla chips so we could make nachos. As the dumbfounding look waved over my face I responded that all our cheese is dairy and that I honestly didn’t even know what gluten was.

I then waved them off and told them that I would just make them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I was advised that he couldn’t eat peanut butter .

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were allergic” I responded.

“Oh I’m not allergic, but my mom told me that she read kids who eat nuts have a higher chance of having kids with nut allergies”.

WTF!!!!!!!!!

I had to look around and look for Rod Sterling because I thought that I was on the fucking twilight zone. After finally getting him a nut free, gluten free non-gmo snack I sat down and finally realized that we are done. Finished, Kaput whatever you want to call it but it all means the same thing. This country is doomed, it is doomed because the next generation will have no clue. No clue how life works, how life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine and there is bad in the world, a lot of parents shelter their kids so much that when the kid has a little more freedom they end up going buck wild. What these parents don’t realize is that they are setting up their kids for failure.

For the sake of not writing a book on the subject let’s take a look at a couple of what I think main examples on how kids are over coddled these days.

Sports:

sports

Yes all kids deserve a participation trophy…until around the age of seven, after that no not at all, you need to earn your trophy or award. This day and age of “everyone gets a trophy” is getting worse and worse, last year I actually witnessed at a end of the season youth football banquet an 11 year who barely played and when he did, lets just say his performance on the gridiron was a few steps below the farthest from good you can get be awarded the team MVP. When I asked the head coach of that particular team why “Billy” the stud of the team and someone who will definitely make the varsity squad in high school with one eye open and will be easily recruited by a D1 school (no “Billy” is not my kid and obviously that’s not his real name). The coaches response? “Well the league decided that the MVP should not be only based on ones performance on the field but also a persons character and told me who the MVP will be for the team, in fact the league told every team who their MVP will be”. Yes a youth football league board of directors told each teams head coach who their team MVP will be.

I thought to myself “should also be based on a persons character? This isn’t a movie, this is real life and I know this kid. oh boy and believe me he’s an asshole.

What made matters worse is that after this little asshole received the award I overheard him talking shit to other kids with comments like “thats right MVP bitch!” and “kiss my ass motherfuckers I’m the fucking MVP”. Now this wasn’t playful kids talking shit to each other, you can tell this kid was fucking serious.

What frightened me the most in this situation is that this kid really thinks he’s an MVP caliber football player. This may set the stage for the rest of his life in thinking that things are just going to be given to him and he won’t need to work for anything. I see it all the time with the “millennials” or whatever the fuck that generation is called. “This job sucks”, “I can’t believe that I didn’t get promoted” and the best is “THIS IS NOT FAIR”.

That is what they are not learning that life is not fair!

Food:

ice cream cone

Many people are obsessed with what they eat and divulge into an even deeper psychotic episode when it comes to what their kids consume. Now I  provided one example already at the beginning of this article and I have countless more however for the interest of time I will only provide one more.

Last summer my family and I took a quick few day vacation to Cooperstown NY, it was a great few days and besides getting to see where legends are enshrined, it gave me a chance to people watch. Like most other men I prefer to sit on a bench rather then go into a store that my wife wanted to go into. The horror I witnessed can only be matched by a Stephen King novel or a Kathy Griffin stand up routine.

It was a beautiful late summer upstate New York day and I was sitting outside sharing an ice cream cone with my toddler waiting for my wife and other kids to be done in the store that I previously stated that I didn’t want to go into when I saw a little boy maybe five years old tops asking his parents for an ice cream cone “please, we’re on vacation and you never let me eat ice cream” he said, then in a blink of an eye both of his parents flew into this food rage yelling and screaming on how bad it is for you and all the fat in it and it will make him obese and he will get diabetes, yada, yada, yada. Now this kid is young, on vacation and normal size, if not skinny. I truly felt bad for this kid, here he is on vacation and all he asked for is a fucking ice cream cone and his fucking yuppy parents probably punished him for a month over it.

The funny part? They caught me red handed staring at them and when then looked over, me looking dumbfound and my little one covered in what was once chocolate soft serve, I just blurted out “Well looks like I’ll be going for seconds”.

School:

elementary-school

This will be my final subject because I am fucking tired but I digress…

The way I see nowadays makes me fucking sick to my stomach, when I was in school and got bad grades it was on me, I needed to correct it, end of story! Now!! A kid  gets a bad grade and the parents meet with the teacher and if they don’t like what they hear they go to the principal and if they don’t like what they hear they go to the school board who after hearing “but i am a taxpayer” or “he learns in different ways” tell the principal to tell the teacher to change the grade to something that will, lets just say “make the parents happy and go away”.

Here we go again, another kid who wants everything handed to him and will grow up to be forty year old living in his parents basement still asking for money to go out on Friday night with his “boys”.

 

Fast forward thirty or so years and I envision that we will be living in a country watching football games that end 6-3 every week all while snacking on buffalo tofu.

 

BHD

4 thoughts on “Porcelain Kids”

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