Well it happened, we received the list of kids in my daughters class in order to ensure everyone receives a valentine. Of course the letter reminded us half a dozen times that no food is allowed WHATSOEVER!
Now before you want to throw me off a roof, this is not a post talking shit about kids with food allergies, with that being said better them then me however I do actually feel for these kids and can’t imagine having to deal with it.
Now thinking back to when I was a kid I can’t remotely remember anyone of my friends having an allergy to anything. We always brought food to school for special occasions, hell sometimes the teacher would bring in cookies or candy just for shits and giggles.
What has happened over the past thirty or so years? I have friends with kids that have food allergies and by the time they were five years old they knew what they could and couldn’t eat. Also if they were unsure they had the sense enough to ask an adult if what was being served had (for example) nuts in it because they were taught at an early age what to do when it came to snacking with their friends.
This is a clear example of the “pussifacation” of America, let’s stop making things fun just because a couple of kids can’t eat a peanut butter cup or the birthday cake isn’t “gluten free”.
For obvious reasons I’m going to just concentrate on what schools allow or don’t allow.
Kids birthday, “Please bring in non-food items” parents send in “cool” themed pencils and erasers.
Halloween, “please bring in non-food items” parents send in “Halloween” themed pencils and erasers ”
Christmas, “please bring in non-food items” parents send in… well you get my fucking point!!
Every time I reach for a pencil in my house it’s a fucking holiday or sports/princess themed pencil.
I feel like calling the fucking school and explaining to them that kids hate this shit and will not be disappointed if they don’t get pencil number three for the week.
All of this being said, I know the school districts are afraid of lawsuits and the few asshole parents who would actually complain. An easy solution would be have all the kids bring in something and just ask the parents of the kids with food allergies to bring in something that their kid can eat. BOOM problem solved! If little Timmy can’t eat anything with tree nuts then he brings in something without them. You get my point…
Then, you have the kids who have absolutely zero allergies but their parents treat them like porcelain dolls and that if they eat one cupcake and a can of soda they will be obese. These are the people who watch daytime television and hear these doctors talk about the weight problems that children can experience with an unhealthy diet. Well I have one word for these parents; MODERATION !!, let me say that again; MODERATION!!! If your kids want fast food let them have it, once every two weeks or so, that my readers is straight up moderation. These kids that are deprived of the yummy snacks and have fucking raisins or an apple shoved down their throat instead of the basic human right of having a nice ice cream sundae once a week are the kids that are going to rebel and either sneak the food so their parents don’t see or stuff their faces at a friends house to the point of that friends parent asking themselves “does this kid eat at home”?. I know that I am getting off track here but fuck you its my blog and I will go as far off track as I wish, but back to the topic at hand.
The parents of the kids with no allergies seem to be the ring leaders of the “pussifacation” of America and are usually the classroom parent so they can control what is going on. I know that the school district makes these policies but it’s because these parents lead the charge of the anti-yummysnack movement. These people need to be rounded up and given their own state or territory so they can sit around and sing kumbaya while eating kale chips and drinking triple filtered kid friendly water in BPA free bottles.
Me? Well I will be sitting here with my bag of chocolate watching a PG-13 rated war movie and my kids will be sitting right next to me.
Until next time,
Brutally Honest Dad