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Since I am new and trying to get my opinion out to everyone far and wide can everyone who follows me please like, share my blog on social media and any other channels available.
I am hoping to gain enough steam to eventually start a podcast (that’s in long term plans) and have OUR voices heard!
We are loosing our kids to these people who want to control everything!
“The More Risks you allow children to take, the better they learn to take care of themselves”- Ronald Dahl
I was a rainy Saturday afternoon and I was stretched out on the couch flipping through the channels when my son and his new buddy walked in the back door. After saying hello, my son asked his friend if he wanted a snack. He said yes and they went into the kitchen with me following.
I asked them if they wanted me to make them something and as they nodded their approval my sons fried asked if we had any “non-dairy” cheese and gluten free tortilla chips so we could make nachos. As the dumbfounding look waved over my face I responded that all our cheese is dairy and that I honestly didn’t even know what gluten was.
I then waved them off and told them that I would just make them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I was advised that he couldn’t eat peanut butter .
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were allergic” I responded.
“Oh I’m not allergic, but my mom told me that she read kids who eat nuts have a higher chance of having kids with nut allergies”.
I had to look around and look for Rod Sterling because I thought that I was on the fucking twilight zone. After finally getting him a nut free, gluten free non-gmo snack I sat down and finally realized that we are done. Finished, Kaput whatever you want to call it but it all means the same thing. This country is doomed, it is doomed because the next generation will have no clue. No clue how life works, how life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine and there is bad in the world, a lot of parents shelter their kids so much that when the kid has a little more freedom they end up going buck wild. What these parents don’t realize is that they are setting up their kids for failure.
For the sake of not writing a book on the subject let’s take a look at a couple of what I think main examples on how kids are over coddled these days.
Yes all kids deserve a participation trophy…until around the age of seven, after that no not at all, you need to earn your trophy or award. This day and age of “everyone gets a trophy” is getting worse and worse, last year I actually witnessed at a end of the season youth football banquet an 11 year who barely played and when he did, lets just say his performance on the gridiron was a few steps below the farthest from good you can get be awarded the team MVP. When I asked the head coach of that particular team why “Billy” the stud of the team and someone who will definitely make the varsity squad in high school with one eye open and will be easily recruited by a D1 school (no “Billy” is not my kid and obviously that’s not his real name). The coaches response? “Well the league decided that the MVP should not be only based on ones performance on the field but also a persons character and told me who the MVP will be for the team, in fact the league told every team who their MVP will be”. Yes a youth football league board of directors told each teams head coach who their team MVP will be.
I thought to myself “should also be based on a persons character? This isn’t a movie, this is real life and I know this kid. oh boy and believe me he’s an asshole.
What made matters worse is that after this little asshole received the award I overheard him talking shit to other kids with comments like “thats right MVP bitch!” and “kiss my ass motherfuckers I’m the fucking MVP”. Now this wasn’t playful kids talking shit to each other, you can tell this kid was fucking serious.
What frightened me the most in this situation is that this kid really thinks he’s an MVP caliber football player. This may set the stage for the rest of his life in thinking that things are just going to be given to him and he won’t need to work for anything. I see it all the time with the “millennials” or whatever the fuck that generation is called. “This job sucks”, “I can’t believe that I didn’t get promoted” and the best is “THIS IS NOT FAIR”.
That is what they are not learning that life is not fair!
Many people are obsessed with what they eat and divulge into an even deeper psychotic episode when it comes to what their kids consume. Now I provided one example already at the beginning of this article and I have countless more however for the interest of time I will only provide one more.
Last summer my family and I took a quick few day vacation to Cooperstown NY, it was a great few days and besides getting to see where legends are enshrined, it gave me a chance to people watch. Like most other men I prefer to sit on a bench rather then go into a store that my wife wanted to go into. The horror I witnessed can only be matched by a Stephen King novel or a Kathy Griffin stand up routine.
It was a beautiful late summer upstate New York day and I was sitting outside sharing an ice cream cone with my toddler waiting for my wife and other kids to be done in the store that I previously stated that I didn’t want to go into when I saw a little boy maybe five years old tops asking his parents for an ice cream cone “please, we’re on vacation and you never let me eat ice cream” he said, then in a blink of an eye both of his parents flew into this food rage yelling and screaming on how bad it is for you and all the fat in it and it will make him obese and he will get diabetes, yada, yada, yada. Now this kid is young, on vacation and normal size, if not skinny. I truly felt bad for this kid, here he is on vacation and all he asked for is a fucking ice cream cone and his fucking yuppy parents probably punished him for a month over it.
The funny part? They caught me red handed staring at them and when then looked over, me looking dumbfound and my little one covered in what was once chocolate soft serve, I just blurted out “Well looks like I’ll be going for seconds”.
This will be my final subject because I am fucking tired but I digress…
The way I see nowadays makes me fucking sick to my stomach, when I was in school and got bad grades it was on me, I needed to correct it, end of story! Now!! A kid gets a bad grade and the parents meet with the teacher and if they don’t like what they hear they go to the principal and if they don’t like what they hear they go to the school board who after hearing “but i am a taxpayer” or “he learns in different ways” tell the principal to tell the teacher to change the grade to something that will, lets just say “make the parents happy and go away”.
Here we go again, another kid who wants everything handed to him and will grow up to be forty year old living in his parents basement still asking for money to go out on Friday night with his “boys”.
Fast forward thirty or so years and I envision that we will be living in a country watching football games that end 6-3 every week all while snacking on buffalo tofu.
“MORE THAN A RANT”
by Faheem J. (New York, NY)
“Anger is motivating and draining.”
SO SO ADDICTIVE
Anger is more than just about being mad something or someone. It is a drug that can become addictive if you let it. I would go on a rant, but I have nothing to rant about. Hell, I have nothing to be upset about. Yet, it can happen, and when it does, boy do I feel good. But after, it becomes mentally draining. You inevitably lose focus, and drain yourself of productivity.
WHY WE NEED WHEN WE DON’T
To some people, anger is a safety blanket. We feel secure when we’re angry because it is the easiest emotion to have in life. It takes work to be happy and remain happy. But to be mad, now that can be accomplished in a matter of seconds. Hard to be happy when so much of our society is in a dark place. And what’s crazy, sometimes we want society to be made with us. And when they’re not, we look at them as if they have the problem. When in reality, the happy ones have figured out something the angry ones haven’t.
WHEN THE RANT GOES WRONG
Like I said earlier, when we get angry, in the moment it’s good, but when it wears off, we feel worst than before the anger. And like I also said, you lose energy, effectiveness, and productivity. Try this once:
- Get as mad as you can possibly get; make up a scenario.
- Walk around ranting about the people in the scenario.
- Take it to the extreme by even incorporating something violent into the scenario.
- Then once you’ve hit your climactic point, observe some things.
- Time you ranted
- Heart rate
Once you have done the first 3, then look over the anger. You’ll notice you’ve wasted time, you can’t work on anything after because you’re so heated, and have lost focus. So my rant is more than a rant. It aims at how the rant can rob you of productivity. Because inevitably, a rant forces you to lose progress. Then you sink to an even deeper place then before the rant. Now you have to rant at this new low, then rant at the next low. Eventually, you’re too low to rant because ranting takes energy; energy you have at this point depleted from low level to new low level.
–Faheem J. (New York, NY)
We owe it to ourselves and others to learn and to teach.
Today’s society is becoming increasingly rude and uncultured. While I understand that kids can’t always sit still in church, or that they can cry out loud on queue at the store, I do not understand the adults.
In a recent article I read, a guy could not get people to quiet down at a coffee shop, so he used what they were talking about against them. They were discussing potential business details and its name. The author of the article flat out bought the domain with the name of the business the people came up with. Some might think that was spiteful, but after what I see around me more often than not, I think it was genius.
On another occasion, an obnoxious woman left her dog’s poop on an airport’s terminal floor without trying to clean it up in any way. The author of the article says that there was a special pet zone for that kind of business nearby, but I understand that she wasn’t aware or that the dog just had to go. However, she could have made more of an effort to find someone to clean in instead of proceeding with her life like nothing ever happened.
Of course such insane behavior stems from childhood and the lack of any sense of direction from the parents. I see a woman with a 7-year-old on a bus and they are both sitting in the “elderly/disabled” seats. All the seats are taken. An old lady gets on and she is clearly having issues with coordinating the whole “standing/holding on for dear life situation”. I know that the mother or the child might not be feeling well, or have a disability of their own, but they are laughing and chatting away while intermittently playing on their phones. They see the old lady. They do nothing!!! The child doesn’t get up, the mother doesn’t tell her to. I have to be the bad guy, so I politely ask them if maybe they are both disabled. The kid looks at me as if I’m from Mars. The mother rolls her eyes and tells her kid to just sit in her lap. They go back to playing on their phones. The old lady thanks me and sits down. What an accomplishment! Before there were 2 people sitting, now it’s 3!!!
A 5-year-old keeps running up and down the aisle in church while her mother does nothing. The kid is not so little anymore. She should have SOME sense of what church is and how to behave in it. When the child runs past me for the nth time I whisper to her asking to go back to her pew. The mother sees it and comes to reprimand ME. Ok, I understand that – she is being a protective lioness over her cubs and she will take care of the situation herself, because after all she has realized that should try to parent her child sometimes. Oh, that is NOT what happened. She ran to her other daughters and told them all about it. You can only assume what she said to them after them all turning around and looking at me as if they were going to kill me. That is even more dangerous than the lack of parenting. It just instills the “snowflake” idea in them even more.
Once on a bus, a woman in her 20s puts her nearly-finished-drink on the floor and then… changes seats, leaving the cup behind. Everyone can forget, right? So I remind her. Firstly, she gets mouthy with me and then proceeds to more physical acts of contempt like trying to spill the remains on me (scattering different parts of the plastic cup around the buss) and trying to pick a fist fight. No one around cares. If no one cares, why bother. It must be I who was in the wrong. I must be nitpicking. One person cannot change the world, which is going downhill fast…
For the love of all that is holy, please do NOT be that person who listens to their music on speaker in a crowded place. It’s called being respectful. Or, please do not talk about BS on speakerphone for an hour either when random people surround you.
If we were more RESPECTFUL of one another the world would be prettier, we wouldn’t be as stressed and we would all be more peaceful.
If you have a story that you want to share or just need to rant about the way certain people are bringing their kids up, please send submissions to:
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Well it happened, we received the list of kids in my daughters class in order to ensure everyone receives a valentine. Of course the letter reminded us half a dozen times that no food is allowed WHATSOEVER!
Now before you want to throw me off a roof, this is not a post talking shit about kids with food allergies, with that being said better them then me however I do actually feel for these kids and can’t imagine having to deal with it.
Now thinking back to when I was a kid I can’t remotely remember anyone of my friends having an allergy to anything. We always brought food to school for special occasions, hell sometimes the teacher would bring in cookies or candy just for shits and giggles.
What has happened over the past thirty or so years? I have friends with kids that have food allergies and by the time they were five years old they knew what they could and couldn’t eat. Also if they were unsure they had the sense enough to ask an adult if what was being served had (for example) nuts in it because they were taught at an early age what to do when it came to snacking with their friends.
This is a clear example of the “pussifacation” of America, let’s stop making things fun just because a couple of kids can’t eat a peanut butter cup or the birthday cake isn’t “gluten free”.
For obvious reasons I’m going to just concentrate on what schools allow or don’t allow.
Kids birthday, “Please bring in non-food items” parents send in “cool” themed pencils and erasers.
Halloween, “please bring in non-food items” parents send in “Halloween” themed pencils and erasers ”
Christmas, “please bring in non-food items” parents send in… well you get my fucking point!!
Every time I reach for a pencil in my house it’s a fucking holiday or sports/princess themed pencil.
I feel like calling the fucking school and explaining to them that kids hate this shit and will not be disappointed if they don’t get pencil number three for the week.
All of this being said, I know the school districts are afraid of lawsuits and the few asshole parents who would actually complain. An easy solution would be have all the kids bring in something and just ask the parents of the kids with food allergies to bring in something that their kid can eat. BOOM problem solved! If little Timmy can’t eat anything with tree nuts then he brings in something without them. You get my point…
Then, you have the kids who have absolutely zero allergies but their parents treat them like porcelain dolls and that if they eat one cupcake and a can of soda they will be obese. These are the people who watch daytime television and hear these doctors talk about the weight problems that children can experience with an unhealthy diet. Well I have one word for these parents; MODERATION !!, let me say that again; MODERATION!!! If your kids want fast food let them have it, once every two weeks or so, that my readers is straight up moderation. These kids that are deprived of the yummy snacks and have fucking raisins or an apple shoved down their throat instead of the basic human right of having a nice ice cream sundae once a week are the kids that are going to rebel and either sneak the food so their parents don’t see or stuff their faces at a friends house to the point of that friends parent asking themselves “does this kid eat at home”?. I know that I am getting off track here but fuck you its my blog and I will go as far off track as I wish, but back to the topic at hand.
The parents of the kids with no allergies seem to be the ring leaders of the “pussifacation” of America and are usually the classroom parent so they can control what is going on. I know that the school district makes these policies but it’s because these parents lead the charge of the anti-yummysnack movement. These people need to be rounded up and given their own state or territory so they can sit around and sing kumbaya while eating kale chips and drinking triple filtered kid friendly water in BPA free bottles.
Me? Well I will be sitting here with my bag of chocolate watching a PG-13 rated war movie and my kids will be sitting right next to me.
Until next time,
Brutally Honest Dad
Most of us have been there, our four year old son (or daughter) at his first day of t-ball, all the family is there with camera in hand to snap some photos and videos in order to capture our child’s first foray into competitive sports.
Fast forward about three years and here they are hitting of the coaches soft tosses from about seventeen feet away, well some of them are. Some of them are swinging the bat and falling over, some of them are are standing there still as a statue too nervous and afraid to do anything and all they hear are their parents and coaches yelling and screaming “swing”, “swing”, “what are you doing? Swing the bat!”. You get my point, by this age I think you should have a pretty good idea if your child is going to be any good at sports (well at least baseball, hence my example), or if they just aren’t cut out for it.
Don’t get me wrong, the kids that are good now may not even come close to making their Middle/High School teams and the kids that cant currently hit a beach ball to save their lives may one day end up in Cooperstown, but I digress…
Now I have been lucky, I have a son who excels in everything he does (especially sports)and being only 8 years old plays baseball, basketball, football and even golf on a competitive level. Now before you judge me on how busy his life is let me make one thing clear, I HAVE NEVER FORCED HIM TO DO ANYTHING! Everything that he does he has asked to do, whether he heard it from his friends, had a flyer advertising a local rec league sent home from school or saw it on TV . He started this at an early age playing t-ball at just three and a half years old and here we are nearly five years later and he’s playing (and beating) kids two years his senior. With all of this being said, I do make sure that his grades are on the up and up before he can do anything that resembles sports.
For the sake of this article we are going to focus on baseball and the kids who just aren’t cut out to be on the field in any way, shape or form (except for maybe picking daisies) and we can break them down into only two categories:
1) The kids who just aren’t that good however they still want to play for whatever reason (friends play, just love the game, etc.). I say let them play because eventually they will be told by a coach that they just aren’t good at the game by way of being cut from the team or they will realize this on their own and take to another activity.
2) The kids who FLAT OUT SUCK but Fathers (and sometimes Mothers) keep pushing them to play and keep telling them how good they are. These are the kids who have absolutely no fucking business being on the field and most of the time don’t even want to be on the field, but let me get more specific…
I see it, I see it all the time you have a kid trying out for a baseball team and they can’t pitch, hit or field and you hear the Father say things like “he’s having an off day” or “he’s just getting over a cold” now most coaches evaluating tryouts have been around enough to tell the difference between an off day and an OFF day. Still these parents think that their son is the next Babe Ruth or Ted Williams and will give you every excuse in the book as to why their son is not performing at the level they swear he is at. Now most recreational baseball leagues will place a kid under 10 years old on a team regardless of their tryout performance and because of this they give the kids and their parents a false sense of talent. Then this false sense of talent turns into cockiness and when they try out for a travel team and are not picked it turns the kids and more so their parents into monsters and they go around town bending every ear they can get to listen and start the “Smear Coach so and so” campaign.
Then we are back with the excuses and adding in a rumor or two, we hear things like “the only reason he didn’t pick Tommy is because his wife doesn’t like my wife” or “we went to High School together and didn’t quite get along “then it turns into “he only picked little Mikey because his mom is hot and single”. Now I am not saying that this type of stuff doesn’t happen however (and most other travel ball coaches can attest to this) no travel baseball coach will pass on a good player for most personal reasons between them and their parents. The travel baseball community is so competitive and the pool of good players is very small That’s not me being an ignorant jerkoff, that’s the absolute fucking truth.
Let’s take it a step further…
Once you get into travel baseball it is a pretty closed community, a community that other parents want in on and are willing to say or do just about ANTHING to be welcomed into and once they are in they know that they have to keep up the act because unlike the recreational leagues there is no complaint department, the coach is the complaint department and he can tell you and your kid to go take a hike if you go to him and piss and moan over every little thing.
Now I have not been a part of this world too long only a few years, and I assume that the rest of the Country is like where I live (for privacy reasons I will just say the Mid-Atlantic area), however now that I manage a team I have had parents that I don’t even know knock on my door eight o’clock at night asking for a tryout or even a roster spot. I have had my son tell me that kids he wouldn’t normally play with befriend him at school only to have their parents contact me a week or two later inquiring about the team. I have had dads that have run in the same “cliques” for years try to become my best friend because they want in, I mean upper class people (I’m just an average middle class working guy) who wouldn’t even nod their heads at me in the past all of a sudden want to invite me out for beers or my wife and I out to dinner. I am not saying that these are bad people; it’s just the way the game is played. Then you have the parents who talk your ear off about how good a ball player their kid is, you know he’s a natural third basemen no I mean catcher, never mind he was born to play second base, all in the course of a month then you schedule a tryout and after only 20 minutes or so can just go ahead and check off box #10 (none of the above) with the previous nine boxes being all of the positions on the field.
Sometimes parents just need to realize that their kid is just not good enough at certain sports (except for soccer, but we will touch on that in my next post) and their talents lie elsewhere.
The Brutally Honest Dad
We are stripping our children of their dignity, and they don’t even know it.
Don’t just teach your children how to read…Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.- George Carlin